Last Wills and Testaments
by random-life
Summary: Naruto, one boring day, had an idea decides to make a last will and testament together with the others. The others also decide to play along and make their last will and testament. What will they put in there? Read to find out! Humorous battle of the egos
1. Naruto's um estate

**Okay, I decided to make this fic just for fun. I only thought of this last night while I was about to sleep. I remembered my friend, who's very egoistic but funny, Michelle, when she and my other friend, Anna, did this while they were YM-ing, so I said to myself "Hey, it would be fun to make something like that for the Naruto cast." so I decided to make something like it for the Naruto cast. Enjoy and review afterwards :P.**

**Last Will and Testimonies of the Naruto Cast**

**Naruto's um… estate**

Team 7, team 8, team 10 and Neji's team were in some random clearing in some random forest. They were supposed to rest from the missions they just had earlier that day when they saw each other's team there as well. They were quite bored with nothing to do at that time, so Naruto had this idea.

Naruto: Hey, I know let's play or do something. I have an idea.

Sakura: Oh yeah, what do you propose we do then?

Naruto: Why don't we discuss our last wills and testimonials!

Sasuke: Testaments.

Naruto: Testaments. It would be really fun.

Kiba: That sounds like fun, why not? Just to pass time.

Neji: Fine, since we all have nothing better to do right this moment.

Kiba: So who of you would want to go first?

Naruto: Okay, I'll go first, who wants to be my lawyer?

Lee: Me, I want! I want! Pick me, pick me! I'm a wonderful lawyer! Pick me! Please!

Naruto: Uh… Shikamaru! You can be my lawyer.

Lee: Oh come on. That's not fair.

Tenten: Lee stop acting like a baby.

Shikamaru: Fine, if I must… this is so troublesome. But anyway, better do this than some other troublesome mission.

Naruto: Okay um... um... uh... How do I start?

Sasuke: Loser.

Shikamaru: Who do you want to divide your possessions to?

Naruto: Okay, I, the future Hokage of Konoha, the ninja of great brains and bronze—

Sasuke: First of all, you don't have the brains, and second, you don't have the bronze either.

Naruto: Oh shut up! Again, I, the future Hokage, the ninja of great brains and bronze--

Neji: Also with great pride and stupidity--

Naruto: Also with great pride and stupidity... hey!Will both of you prodigies just shut up!

Shikamaru: Will you get on with it?

Naruto: Okay, I, the future Hokage--

Ino and Sakura: Get on with it already!

Naruto: Fine, cranky people. I will and/ or want to equally divide my estate—

Sasuke: You don't have an estate.

Naruto: Oh shut up! Okay, continuing, I want to divide my estate to five people, namely Sakura-chan… um… Shikamaru… Kakashi-sensei—

Neji: Are you sure Kakashi-sensei will even be alive when you die?

Naruto: Will you guys stop butting in? You're getting really annoying.

Sasuke: Like you aren't.

Naruto: Whatever, I'm very humble and sweet.

Everyone rolls their eyes.

Sasuke: Only an idiot will belive such crap.

Lee: wow Naruto, I didn't know you were humble till now, good for you.

Neji: There's one idiot for you.

Naruto: Continuing, before I was rudely interrupted, Kakashi-sensei, Hinata-chan and Sasuke-teme.

Hinata (in her thoughts): I'm in his last will and testament.

Shikamaru: Okay…

Lee: Hey, I'm not there!

Naruto: Of course not, why would I put you in some precious thing such as my last will and testament.

Shikamaru: Precious, sure whatever… can we get on now?

Naruto: And if any of them refuses, may my wonderful and precious possessions be given to some desperate loser. So, is it good so far?

Shikamaru: It's fine, go on.

Naruto: Okay, may my very precious and special possession of all be given to Sakura-chan.

Sakura: Oh, why thank you Naruto.

Naruto: You're welcome Sakura-chan. I give to you my wonderful Ramen stock, I have around a thousand of them, and I'll give them to you in case something unpleasant happens to me.

Ino: Nice, you'll surely get fat there, Forehead girl.

Sakura: Shut up, Ino-pig!

Ino: Why you!

Naruto: Girls, girls, don't fight over my possession.

Sakura and Ino: SHUT UP! WE ARE NOT FIGHTING OVER YOUR POSSESSIONS!

Shikamaru: Can we move on now, this is getting more and more troublesome.

Naruto: Okay, moving on. May my beautiful apartment uh… I mean house be given to Shikamaru.

Sasuke: Don't you mean shelter.

Naruto: Will you just shut up! Stop butting in; this is **my** last will and testimonial.

Sasuke: Testament.

Naruto: Testament… there you go again!

Shikamaru: I am very thankful for your apartment uh… I mean house, but can we please get on with this. This is getting too troublesome.

Naruto: Right, where were we?

Shikamaru: You're apartment be given to me…

Naruto: Right… okay, may all my debts in Ichiraku and/ or any other store I've been to be given to my very trustful jounin instructor, Kakashi-sensei.

Sasuke: I'm very sure Kakashi-sensei will be happy with what you have given him, I'm sure when he finds out he'll be jumping in joy.

Naruto: Of course! Why wouldn't he?

The rest of them rolled their eyes.

Naruto: Who's next?

Kiba: Hinata-chan.

Naruto: Oh right… Hinata-chan. I hereby pledge my frog pouch to Hinata-chan.

Kiba: What? That's it?

Naruto: Do you actually think I'd trust my precious, one of a kind frog pouch to you or anybody else?

Kiba: Guess not. Not that I'd want it either.

Naruto: True. Someone with brains such as your wouldn't understand such wonderful stuff in forms of inanimate animals.

Kiba: Yeah that's true……… hey!

Hinata (in thoughts): He trusts me.

Shikamaru: Okay, so your frog pouch be given to Hinata right? Okay then, which of your um… estate will be given to Sasuke?

Sasuke (in a low voice): This will be bad.

Naruto: Ohh, I love this. May my dirty clothes, gross and used socks, snots and armpit hair be all given to my team mate, Sasuke.

Sakura and Ino: Eww, that's so gross.

Tenten: Dude, what's with that?

Naruto: With that, I shall end my last will and testimonial.

Sasuke: Testament.

Naruto: Testament.

Sasuke: You call that equally divided? Anyway, I refuse the equally divided part of Naruto's uh… estate, as he says, that was given to me. I appeal that those be given to some desperate loser who's willing to get any of those possessions of Naruto.

Chouji: Hey, is Lee considered a desperate loser?

Shikamaru: Dunno.

Neji: I'm pretty sure Kakashi-sensei, would do the same if he was here.

Kakashi puffs out, out of nowhere.

Kakashi: I also appeal that those be given to me. be given to another desperate loser.

Kakashi disappears.

Naruto: Hey, that was fast.

Shikamaru: Okay, Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei both refuse, thus, Naruto's possession will be given to some desperate loser. Hey, is Gai considered?

(Shikamaru was writing everything down in a piece of paper)

Tenten: Maybe.

Kiba: Hey, who's going next?

Chouji: Let's eat lunch first, then we can continue this.

Neji: Yeah, sure, whatever.

Kiba: Good idea.

Naruto: Yeah, I'm hungry.

Ino: Aren't you always?

Shino: …

They all went to get some lunch.

TO BE CONTINUED.

So how was it so far? Did you guys enjoy? Anyway... review please. Do you have any comments, suggestion, questions perhaps, anything you might want to add to future chapters, tell me. REVIEW!


	2. Lee's unwanted stuff

**Hey there, thanks for the reviews on the first chappie, keep those reviews coming please :P. Anyway, here's the second chapter on Lee. **

**To 007al: I'll make Neji's as soon as I know what to put there. Kakashi's will come later on :P**

**To Kaori: No, I haven't heard about that skit, but thanks because you gave me an idea on Neji's part.**

**To Tenshi no Hana Chan: Sure why not? But you'll have to help on how do I do that? I'm not really sure how on this fic but you can share with me your idea:P. If you like those pairings you can look at my two other stories which has all four pairings there. Hey I'm advertising already, this is so epal, but anyway:o Oh yeah, we're both Filipinos, yay! haha, wala lang. Kapayapaan sa labas, did ya gets? Wala lang, I'm being weird.**

**Since I'm already mentioning some accounts, I'll mention the account names of those who reviewed for thanks and just to be fair. Thanks to e (annon), InuyashaCrazyFanGal and BlueroseS.S, continue reviewing thanks! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

**Oh yeah, in your reviews, please tell me on which character you want to have next and your ideas for that character, I'll need it. Tell me!**

**Last Will and Testaments of the Naruto Cast**

**Lee's unwanted possessions**

After eating lunch, they went back to the random clearing on some random forest to continue making last wills and testaments. They sat in one big circle.

**Kiba**: Wow Neji, I didn't expect to see you here to continue what we started.

**Neji**: Don't get the wrong idea, I only went here again is because I don't have anything to do, and because Lee wouldn't stop pointing out the youth-ness of this thing, if there even is and wouldn't leave me alone. So here I am, forced to be here.

**Kiba**: And you Sasuke? I would most likely think you wouldn't come back here; instead you would be off somewhere brooding.

**Sasuke**: Like Neji, I was just forced to be here by Sakura and Ino, they wouldn't stop following and pestering me. So, sadly, I am here, with you, a bunch of low lives.

**Naruto**: Hey, we're not low lives!

A butterfly passes by…

**Lee**: Ooh, look a colorful butterfly.

Lee starts chasing the butterfly.

**Naruto**: Okay, maybe an exception of him.

**Chouji**: Okay, then, since we got that settled who of you guys want to make their last will and testament next?

**Lee**: I want! Please choose me! I want to go next! I want to make my youthful last will and testament!

**Naruto**: Err… um… Shikamaru, do you want to be next?

**Shikamaru**: No, it's too troublesome, maybe next time.

**Naruto**: Err… anyone else?

**Anybody other than Lee**: … … … …

**Lee**: I want! I want! Me! I'll go next!

**Naruto**: Fine, you can go next. But please, nothing on youth speeches please.

**Lee**: Now who will be my lawyer?

**Anyone else**: … … … …

**Lee**: I pick, hmm…

They started looking away, pretending to whistle some unknown tune, trying their best to not let Lee pick them for his lawyer.

**Lee**: I pick, Kiba!

**Kiba**: Why oh why Lord, have you betrayed me?

**Ino**: Oh please, will you stop the drama and get this over with.

**Lee**: Why does it seem like you want my turn over as soon as possible?

**Everyone**: Because we do!

**Lee**: Oh, okay, then, I'll start. I, Lee, the Green Beast of konoha—

**Ino**: What is it with you, other desperate losers like you—

**Kiba**: coughNarutocough

**Ino**: and very vain introductions?

**Lee**: Dunno, I just feel like doing so.

**Kiba**: Can we please get this on? Hello! I'm the lawyer here, I'm the one who's bearing this.

**Ino**: Whatever Kiba, we don't really care if you suffer. Then again, we're going to suffer as well.

**Kiba**: Good then, can we get on now?

**Lee**: Again, I, Lee, the very youthful Green Beast of Konoha, will gladly divide my possessions to four people, namely my beautiful Sakura-chan.

**Sakura**: I'm not yours!

**Lee**: Don't deny Sakura-chan, our love will stand all odds.

**Sakura**: Whatever.

**Tenten**: Poor Lee, all he can do is dream that Sakura will be his.

**Lee**: Neji, Tenten-chan (does Lee say Chan on Tenten), and of course, my idol, my mentor, the guy who gave meaning to my life, Gai-sensei.

**Neji** (in whispers): If he's the one who gave Lee a meaning in life, it must be a really lame meaning.

**Lee**: If any of them refuses, let my wonderful possessions be given to some youth-less guy, gal and/ or being so they can have the youth that the one I have given that possession to refused.

**Kiba**: Okay, so we got the people, can we please get on with the dividing? This is taking too long.

**Lee**: Okay, okay Kiba, you don't have to get all cranky.

**Kiba**: Cranky? CRANKY? YOU'RE THE REASON I'M CRANKY!

**Lee**: Okay, geez, impatient people. To Sakura-chan I pledge my 1000 sets of green suits.

**Sakura**: Why do I always get the stock or the collection?

**Lee**: Don't worry Sakura-chan, they're very comfortable and they're made of cotton. You won't have trouble moving in them.

**Sakura**: That's not what I'm worried about.

**Kiba**: Moving on please.

**Lee**: Right, my notebooks of youth poems, that I have youthfully created that is also very inspiring and youthful be all given to Neji. He will need the youth and inspiration from my poems.

**Neji**: If I need youth and inspiration, then you surely need some updates.

**Kiba**: Okay, we got that done, can we please hurry on?

**Hinata**: Kiba-kun, you should calm down.

**Shino**: Hinata's right, it's not like pressuring Lee to hurry up will actually make thing that fast.

**Lee**: Yeah, Kiba, listen to your team mates.

**Kiba**: Shut up Lee and hurry up!

**Lee**: Okay, okay, where are we?

**Kiba**: You just gave your useless 'youthful and inspiring' poems to Neji.

**Lee**: Right, so we're with Tenten now right? I pledge my squirrel (the one from the Chuunin exam), Youth (I just made the name up), to Tenten.

**Tenten**: Uh… thanks Lee.

**Lee**: He might be annoying and breaks all the glass things in your house, bites of cushions, and isn't potty trained, he is still sweet.

**Tenten**: Right… I might have just changed my mind.

**Kiba**: Okay… so we're done with your squirrel, now can we move on to your lame idol?

**Lee**: And of course, my very special teacher, Gai-sensei.

**Sasuke**: And what would Gai-sensei's replica want to give him? Although, I'm pretty much sure that Gai-sensei won't live up to the time that you die so the things you'll give him will be given to him.

**Lee**: I don't care, what matters is that I have some space in my last will and testament for him. Of course I will give him something very special, all my pictures of myself. They are very beautiful and I'm sure he would love them.

**Ino**: You're so vain.

**Shikamaru**: Ino, you're so vain.

**Ino**: I know that. But it makes vain people look bad when desperate losers such as Lee become vain. That's breaking the rule of vanity.

**Chouji**: There are rules on vanity? Great, what has the world come up to?

**Shikamaru**: Ino, you also make vain people look bad, actually all people who are vain makes vain people look bad.

**Ino**: What are you trying to say!

Ino prepares to hit Shikamaru

**Kiba**: Can you please stop your bickering and end Lee's last will and testament? Lee, your last words?

**Lee**: Let everyone be filled with youth!

**Everyone**: Again with the youth!

Gai suddenly puffs out, out of nowhere.

**Gai**: Lee! I am so proud of you!

**Lee**: Gai-sensei!

**Gai**: Lee!

Lee: Gai-sensei!

They hugged while crying then the sunset background appears.

**Neji**: This is so humiliating, especially since we're his students.

**Tenten**: Yup, you got that right.

**Sasuke**: This is such an awful sight.

**Sakura**: I agree.

**Naruto**: There's something definitely wrong with those two.

Everyone else nods.

**Kiba**: Glad that's over with, let's continue this tomorrow.

**Tenten**: Yeah, sure why not.

**Sakura**: That would be fun, Sasuke-kun, let's go again tomorrow.

**Sasuke**: Even if I said no, you wouldn't stop pestering me. So I suppose.

**Ino**: Okay then, that's settled, we'll go back here tomorrow.

**Shikamaru**: I don't want to, it's too troublesome.

**Ino**: Everything to you is troublesome, but I'll make sure, you'll come tomorrow.

**Shikamaru**: Great, just great.

**Neji**: Wait Kiba, I refuse to have anything of Lee's possessions, so may whatever he had given to me be given to some youth-less guy, gal and/ or being.

**Kiba**: So you're refusing? Okay, got that.

**Sakura**: Same goes for me Kiba, I have no use for such lame outfits such as Lee's green suit. May it be given to some youth-less being who has no shame in wearing such an ugly outfit.

**Kiba**: Sure.

**Tenten**: Sorry, I don't keep pets, thus I refuse the responsibility of keeping his glass-breaking, cushion-biting, un-potty-trained squirrel of his.

**Kiba** (mumbles): Tenten refuse, squirrel given to youth-less guy, gal and/or being.

Kiba scribbles something on a paper

They all left and went back home, leaving Gai and Gai Jr. a.k.a. Lee to their um… moment by themselves.

TO BE CONTINUED

So, this is the end of chappie no. 2. Did you like it? Do you have comments suggestions or anything you just want to say then tell me. Review ha! And tell me which character you want next and your ideas (if you have and if you want) for that character. Thanks again! Review please!


	3. Shino's bugs

**Okay, here I am again with Shino. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. And by the way, thanks for all the reviews I love you guys! You now what I mean. I wanna give time to thank you guys for reviewing.**

**To korrd: Sorry, I didn't do Hinata's next but I'll do hers soon enough but for now, it's Shino, but I hope you like it!**

**To super-anime-neko-sama, cherz, Ao Hana, BlueroseS.S, Invader Hog, 007al, Kaori and Tenshin no Hana Chan (thanks so much!), thanks for the reviews. Anyway, here's Shino with his Last Will and Testament, enjoy!**

**Last Will and Testaments of the Naruto Cast**

**Shino's bugs**

So they didn't have any missions for today and so the rookie nine and Neji's team, once again, met at the random spot of a random clearing in a random forest. Kiba, having nothing to do again and being forced by Lee came along. Sasuke, also being forced, came along as well. As for Shikamaru, he wasn't really forced; he was more of threatened by Ino.

They all sat down, again in a circle, they were sitting in a Indian-sit kind of way.

**Naruto**: So, shall we continue?

**Tenten**: Well basically we have nothing else to do so might as well.

**Naruto**: So who of you wants to go next?

**Kiba**: Okay, Naruto is done and thank the Lord, Lee is done. Hmm… (Kiba rubs non-existing beard) Ooh, I know, let's make Shino go next!

**Naruto**: Yeah, I would love to hear what he has to give!

Most of them nodded, except of course for the prodigies.

**Shino**: Fine then.

**Lee**: Pick me as your lawyer! I want to be your lawyer! Please, I was always thinking of being a lawyer as an alternative for being a ninja!

**Naruto** (whispers to Kiba): Liar.

**Kiba** (whispers to Naruto): I doubt that will ever happen.

**Shino**: You know Lee, I don't really need a lawyer, but if I must pick, then it surely won't be you.

Lee goes to a corner by a tree and pouts.

**Chouji**: Well then, who'll be your lawyer?

Kiba showed a huge smile at Shino.

**Shino**: Okay, my options are down to Shikamaru, Hinata and Kiba. Since Shikamaru already became Naruto's lawyer, he's surely out of the question. Kiba, I would trust him but not on this (Kiba frowns) then that leaves me to Hinata.

Ino gives a piece of paper and pen to Hinata to write down what Shino will say. Hinata nods.

**Sakura**: Can we start now?

**Shino**: Yeah, okay… since I don't have much things to give out, I suppose I'll just give out my bugs under the special care of some people I shall be choosing.

**Naruto**: Hey cool, bugs!

**Ino**: Eww, gross, bugs!

**Sakura**: I suppose very vain people such as you cannot appreciate the value of life.

**Ino**: Why you big forehead girl!

**Sakura**: What did you say Ino-pig!

**Neji**: Can't both of you girls with very big and loud mouths shut up and get on with this.

**Ino**: Who are you calling big and loud mouthed Hyuuga?

**Sasuke**: Are you deaf? It was you obviously.

**Ino**: Why are you saying that Sasuke-kun?

Ino had her eyes on pity mode while Sasuke was just there with his eyes closed and arms crossed and with his usual emotionless expression. Sakura grinned.

**Tenten**: Can we please get a move on now?

**Hinata**: Okay, um… Shino-kun?

**Shino**: Yeah, and if any of them refuses, may my bugs be placed under the care of anyone else asides from Kiba.

**Kiba**: What! Why not me?

**Shino**: You'll find out why later. Well then, may my bug no. 2983922, also known as Kiki, be give to Hinata.

**Naruto**: You have numbers for bugs? Moreover, you give them names?

**Hinata**: Um... thanks Shino-kun.

**Shino**: Don't worry Hinata, she's very friendly and you can have her as a friend and a companion.

**Chouji** (whispers to Shikamaru): You can tell if their friendly? Aren't they all the same since they all serve Shino?

**Shino**: Next, may bug no. 9275924, with the name given Jiji, be given to Sakura.

**Naruto**: Why can't you just give them their names?

**Sakura**: Uh... thanks I guess. At least I'm not given any more of useless collections.

**Naruto**: Ramen is so not useless.

**Sakura**: Whatever you say Naruto.

**Shino**: Jiji is a special kind of bug. Jiji is a medic bug, she can help you.

**Sakura**: Thanks.

Sakura still somehow had a doubtful expression on her face.

**Kiba**: What will you be giving me?

**Shino**: You'll know later. As for now, bestow my bug no. 823742 given the name of Fufu to Kurenai-sensei.

**Naruto**: What's with doubling the first syllable for their names?

**Ino**: And what can this bug do?

**Shino**: Like what Sakura said, a person who doesn't appreciate the beauty of life doesn't need to know that.

Ino stood up and was clenching her fists. She was about to attack but Chouji and Shikamaru held her down. Sakura grinned.

**Shino**: Now, fro Shikamaru I pledge my bug no. 75468543, but more known as Yuyu.

**Naruto**: Man, there's something definitely wrong with this.

**Kiba**: Yeah, tell me about it. He hasn't given me anything yet.

**Naruto**: There's something definitely wrong with you as well. Not that having a brain of a dog isn't enough that is.

(Naruto whispers to himself the last part)

**Shino**: You can have him Shikamaru, you both have the same personality, both lazy.

**Chouji**: Be happy Shika, now you'll have something to go with you while you're staring at the clouds and won't contradict you.

**Shikamaru**: Yeah I suppose, but I still have to say this is still troublesome.

Hinata wrote down what Shino had said.

**Shino**: Okay, nearing to the end, I give my bug no. 3143265, named Hoho, to Naruto.

**Naruto**: Okay, first of all, thanks. But, again, there is something wrong with this!

**Shino**: I'm sure you'll get along well, because for one thing, you both have big egos, second you're both very boastful indeed.

**Naruto**: I am so not boastful.

**Sasuke**: Yeah sure Naruto, hide the truth.

**Lee**: Wow, you really are truly humble Naruto.

**Neji**: Likewise, there's an idiot there for you.

**Sasuke**: If you're interested for another idiot, here's another one.

Sasuke pointed at Naruto.

**Naruto**: Hey!

**Kiba**: Will you stop it! I want to know what Shino will give to me.

**Shino**: Why of course, Kiba, my very loud, annoying, bostful, over-confident, slef-proclaimed team mate,

**Kiba**: Yup, that's me… Hey!

**Shino**: To Kiba, I give (Kiba starts to get really excited), nothing.

Kiba frowned; Naruto was ready to laugh real hard because Kiba didn't get anything.

**Kiba**: Why didn't I get anything?

**Shino**: First of all, I don't have any possessions that I will give out so I just bestowed my bugs on certain people.

**Kiba**: Then why didn't you give me any of your bugs?

**Shino**: Because, one, I don't trust you with my bugs and two, you have a dog, so having a bug and your dog doesn't seem just right.

**Kiba**: Oh. But still!

**Shino**: With that last statement, I now shall end my last will and testament.

**Hinata**: Okay, all done.

Chouji: Can we take a break first?

**Tenten**: We are already taking a break.

**Chouji**: That's not what I mean; I need to go to the store to buy more chips!

**Ino**: Must you really need to do that?

**Chouji**: Of course, a growing kid needs a lot of food.

**Sakura**: You're not a kid anymore, and those are all carbohydrates and fats, how in the world can that be good for you.

**Chouji**: It just is.

**Neji**: Yeah, let's just come back here later.

**Shikamaru**: Fine, but this is still to troublesome.

**Tenten**: Okay, let's just meet back here in 15 minutes.

The rest nodded. When they all left, Naruto went to Ichiraku's. When he was about to enter, he just realized something.

**Naruto**: Wait, Shino still hasn't answered my questions about his bugs.

o.O

TO BE CONTINUED…

Okay, so that's Chapter 3, did you like it? I hope you did, and I also hope you guys review it! And one more thing, starting the next chapter, I'll be changing these to paragraph forms, why? Because my friend warned me that this isn't allowed, and I checked and yeah, this isn't allowed, I hope you guys are okay with that! Anyway, review please!


	4. Sakura, her heart and bitchy fights

**Hey! Sorry for the very, very, very. very, very, very(you get the point) update! I was lost for ideas, and I was busy to think of one:D But look at the bright side, I finally updated. And I hope you enjoy this chapter ü**

**Oh, by the way, thanks to all who reviewed this, I am grateful anf very thankful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

_Last Will and Testaments of the Naruto Cast_

_Sakura, her Heart and the Bitchy Fights_

And 15 minutes it has been, the gang met up once again in the field. "So who's next?" asked Kiba.

"Hmm… me I'll do it!" cheered Sakura.

"And the lawyer shall be?" asked Kiba.

"He's trying to sound smart when in fact he's not really thinking." stated (in a whisper) Shikamaru.

"I agree." said Chouji as he continuously munched his chips.

"Hmm," thought Sakura deeply "I pick…"

Lee was waving his hands desperately "Me! I'll be your smart, truthful, youthful, handsome, loving lawyer my flower! Lee, the green beast of Konoha, will gladly accept the hard duty of being my beloved's lawyer!"

Everyone sweatdropped "Right Lee… Uhm… sure, if you want the job that much."

Lee was overly joyful "Yay!" he got a pencil and paper from out of nowhere specifically "I'm Lee, the Green Beast of Konoha, reporting for duty!"

"Uh huh. Anyway, let's start shall we?" Naruto asked as he was excited what kind of stuff he would get from Sakura.

"I, Haruno Sakura of the nation of Konoha, a really great medic nin with undeniably gorgeous beauty--"

"You know Sakura, we don't really need such a long a specific introduction." stated Tenten.

"Yeah, especially when it's not true." laughed Ino.

"You never know Tenten, people might mistake me for such an ugly slut such as Ino." grinned Sakura, even Neji and Sasuke, inside, grinned at her seemingly good comeback.

Ino went furious "Why you pink headed witch!" Shikamaru and Chouji tried to hold Ino back from attacking Sakura.

"You can go on now you know, we're wasting time, especially since it's being wasted on your meaningless." said Neji.

"Okay, okay. To Naruto, my team mate…" Sakura began, Naruto got excited, but there was a long pause "…"

"To Naruto?" asked Chouji.

"Uhh… I don't know what to give yet, can I skip?" Sakura asked, Naruto was saddened.

"I guess it's your will anyway." said Tenten.

"Okay, to Lee, the guy has an undying devotion and admiration to yours truly," Sakura began.

"Man, I admire you huge imaginary ego despite it being non-existant. I mean, who would like a freaky pink-headed girl like you?" grinned Ino.

"Shut up Ino! Your just jealous because no one in the right mind would like a loud, annoying pig such as you." laughed Sakura.

"Why you," once again, Shikamaru and Chouji tried to hold her aback "I'll show you, you freak! One day…" Ino kept blabbering, but nobody bothered to listen anyway.

"Anyway, moving on to my will, to Lee…" Lee's face lit up with delight; once again, there was a long pause.

"Let me guess, you wanna skip him too right?" asked Shikamaru, Sakura nodded.

The rest sighed, Lee was, like Naruto, saddened

"I bet you just keep on skipping because you obviously have nothing to give, your stuff must be so damn ugly that even the owner, that's you, is having second thoughts of giving because you know they'd hate you ugly and disgusting stuff!" said Ino, and grinned.

"Yeah and I bet nobody would like yours just as much because they know they're as useless as the owner." Sakura grinned even bigger.

"Why you! I'll rip you into pieces…" Ino kept blabbering.

"I'll make you wish you were never born…" Sakura kept blabbering as well.

And they were having one of those bitchy fights, and the rest of them, knowing not to get in between girls who were having a bitchy fight, just let them be.

"This is going nowhere." Sasuke said, obviously bored as the rest.

"Do they do this all the time?" asked Neji. Shikamaru and Naruto nodded "It's a good thing they're not my team mates."

"Uhh S-sakura, I-ino, please s-stop." Hinata tried to stop them.

"Don't bother Hinata, they wouldn't stop anyway." said Shino.

After around an hour "You tired pig…" Sakura said panting trying to punch Ino.

"No way freak…" Ino said panting trying to punch Sakura.

They both fall down from weary.

"Are they done?" asked Kiba.

"Yeah, most probably." said Chouji as he munched on chips.

Lee approached the tired Sakura and started poking to see if she's still alive "You Lee, she's only tired not dead." Tenten stated as a matter-of-factly.

"Oh right. So uhm Sakura?" Lee began "Do you wanna continue you will?"

Sakura quickly sat back up and smiled "Oh yes of course. Now where were we? Oh yeah. To Ino," Sakura began "despite you being a horrible friend and such an ugly pig,"

If Ino wasn't too tired she would get up and start blabbering again, but she was "I give to her all my future debts; that she will have to pay all of them and deal with all the people I owe money to."

"Why… you! I'll… get… you… you… freak!" Ino said in between catching her breath.

"I'll see you try!" laughed Sakura, everyone stared, Sakura regained her composure "Uhh yeah moving on…"

"To Sasuke, my love, my beloved, the only and only owner of my heart--"

Lee sobs "I thought I would be your love, your beloved, the one and only owner of your heart?"

"Fat chance Lee. Not gonna happen!" said Sakura.

"If I own your heart, I would gladly give it to Lee." said Sasuke.

Sakura did not mind Sasuke's sarcastic remark "To Sasuke, I give my heart, my love, my undying devotion to him."

"Why do I get all the useless stuff?" Sasuke asked himself, and probably God as well.

"Uhh… I don't really think that's gonna be an issue for your last will and testimonial Sakura." said Naruto.

"Testament." said Sasuke simply.

"Testament, right."

"Shut up! Leave me be! And all my other stuff I shall give to the homeless and the poor."

"What about me Sakura? What will you give me? Where am I in your last will and testimonial?" asked Naruto

"Testament." corrected Sasuke.

"That's what I said." said Naruto quickly. The rest rolled their eyes.

"The poor need it more than you do Naruto, be generous for once will you!" Sakura said.

"What about me my beautiful flower?" asked Lee.

"You too! The poor will need it more than you will! Can't you guys give out to the needy for once, my goodness, such selfish people!" said Sakura.

"Says the 'unselfish' girl." whispered Tenten to Neji, Neji nods.

"And with that I shall now end my wonderful last will and testament." said Sakura.

Naruto and Lee sobs for not getting anything. Suddenly Gai and Kakashi appear out of nowhere. "Don't worry Lee! I'm here for you!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

And so the drama continues. Naruto approaches Kakashi.

"Why don't we have a relationship like that?" asked Naruto.

Kakashi eyed Naruto for a while "Right. I'll pretend you never asked that."

They both look at the two sobbing clones "Agreed."

"I hereby refuse to accept any of this freaky pink-headed girl's possession. Maybe all her debts be given to the pitiful man who will become her sad, sad husband. Though I honestly doubt who would like a girl like you." said Ino, regaining her strength.

"Why you! Like any guy would even dare approach an ugly pig like you!" said Sakura.

And then, you know what happens, they start the whole bitchy fight again.

"When I make my last will and testament, I would give back whatever they gave me, for so help me God, I will find a case that can actually sue all those people who are giving me all these crazy stuff." Sasuke said to Kakashi.

"I can't agree with you more."

"Hey, it's getting late, why don't we go home now?" asked Kiba.

"Yeah it is, let's continue this tomorrow!" Naruto said.

"I suppose, it's not like you'll stop bothering us to join anyway." Neji said as he began walking on his way home, Hinata followed him.

"Yeah, I'll go ahead too." said Tenten, who was followed by Shino, Kiba, Gai and Lee.

"So what are we gonna do with the two of them?" asked Chouji as he munched on chips.

"Just leave them; nobody in the right mind would stop them, especially in their bitchy fights. That'll just be too troublesome."

"True." Chouji said as Shikamaru and he left.

"So we're just gonna leave them there."

"Obviously, unless you wanna get in between their fight then you as good as welcome to do so." said Sasuke as Kakashi and he began to leave as well.

Naruto dread the thought "Hey wait up for me, don't leave me here with the two massacring females!" said Naruto as he ran up to Sasuke and Kakashi.

And so the bitchy fight continued for much longer, and God knows how the bloody bitchy fight ended up.

END OF CHAPTER

**Don't forget to review! Thanks!**


	5. Ino's UchihaYamanaka Businesses

Hey, sorry I haven't updated in a while, I just got the idea for the next chapter last night:D I hope you enjoy! REVIEW at the end!!!!!!

_Last Will and Testaments_

_Ino's Uchiha-Yamanaka Businesses_

And so morning came and as agreed they went back to the empty field to continue the fun and endearing game of making their last will and testaments. When they arrived they saw Sakura and Ino heavily panting.

"So their bitchy fight lasted all night I see." said Neji.

"Leave them be, they'll get over it." said Sasuke.

Naruto approached the two and stared at them, he knelt down and started poking the two of them. This bothered Ino and Sakura and they looked at Naruto, glaring. Naruto sweat dropped. The next sounds heard were Naruto screaming for his life and two fierce and brutal females beating the crap out of him.

Naruto went to where the others were, badly bruised and beaten.

"I told you to leave them be didn't I?" said Sasuke.

"So shall we continue? Who's the next one to make their last will and testament?" asked a yet-again hyper Lee.

"Me! I'll go next. I'll show this Sakura that I can make a way better last will and testament than she can ever make!" laughed Ino.

"I'll see you try pig!" laughed Sakura as well.

"Aw man I wanted to go next." frowned Kiba.

Ino gave an evil glare to Kiba "Then again, I can wait."

"Shikamaru you will be my attorney!" demanded Ino.

"I refuse, that's too troublesome." yawned Shikamaru who would have preferred to be at home sleeping.

Ino gave Shikamaru the same deadly glare "Never mind, I accept the job."

"First and foremost, I Yamanaka Ino, the girl with undying magnificence and unquestionably high importance, unlike some pink-headed freak…"

"Why you pig…" Sakura started blabbering but the rest learned to ignore.

"So this last will and testament has become the battle of the egos hasn't it?" stated Tenten, Neji and the rest nodded.

"Continuing, before I was rudely disturbed, I shall now discuss the dividing of my properties."

"This game is suddenly making people sound smart despite the fact that they're not." said Sasuke.

"I bet they're just watching too much television." added Shino.

"What properties, all you own is a flower shop." stated Chouji.

"A flower shop for now. But wait until I marry the heir to clan of the Uchiha, my dear darling Sasuke."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Yeah, no one would ever want to marry an ugly whore like you!" yelled Sakura. Yet again, they started their bitchy fight.

"Of all types of girls to like me, they had to be the one with ego and over compulsive issues." sighed Sasuke.

"I somehow pity you, but pity is not in my vocabulary." said Neji.

"I would say the same thing if you were in my place."

"Can we move on?" coughed Shikamaru who was getting extremely bored, and who was also wondering what he did to deserve this.

"Continuing, to my dear son," Ino began, everyone gasped.

"What son!?" exclaimed Shikamaru who was unexpectedly bothered.

"Mine and Sasuke's first born duh!" explained Ino "And why do you seem bothered about it?"

Shikamaru regained composure "Nothing, just carry on."

"What son? You freak, no one would even ever go on a date with you!" Sakura screamed, and then continued blabbering.

"I constantly ask God what I did to deserve this." said Sasuke.

"To my son, Sasuke Jr., I hereby entrust him with the future Uchiha-Yamanaka mansion for he will be the heir to the family. I also leave him as the next CEO to the Uchiha-Yamanaka enterprise."

"Uchiha-Yamanaka mansion and enterprise?" laughed Tenten "Ino has some imagination."

"To big for her own good." said Sasuke.

Everyone rolled their eyes "Anyway, continuing my will… to my beautiful daughter, for I am her mother she too is beautiful, though not as beautiful as I, I mean I am the mother hence I am incomparable in beauty yet my daughter will still be undeniably beautiful…"

Everyone rolled their eyes again "Can you quit it with the ego and continue so we can get on with our lives as well!" exclaimed Kiba.

"Fine, fine, to my daughter I give her the future multi-billion Uchiha-Yamanaka chain of flower shops!" said Ino proudly.

"Multi-billion?" wondered Shino.

"Uchiha-Yamanaka?" wondered Sasuke with utter disgust "To what insanity has this world come to."

"Moving on, to mine and Sasuke's dear 3rd child, whatever gender it may turn out, I hand over the future multi-billion Uchiha-Yamanaka chain of restaurants, for I have always dreamed of opening one myself and one day it will happen!"

Sakura laughed "No way in hell!" they started blabbering and Kiba and Chouji tried to hold them back.

"Wow, Ino has got some big dreams ne Sasuke?" stated Naruto.

"I wish I wasn't part of it." said Sasuke as he sighed deeply.

"Couldn't agree with you more."

Chouji released Ino "Anyway, continuing before I was disturbed by some unwanted presence… to mine and Sasuke's 4th child, I leave him with all of the Uchiha-Yamanaka rest houses that me and my husband-to-be, Sasuke Uchiha, will build all over the world!" laughed Ino evilly.

"I'll have to kill all of these crazy people someday." said Sasuke, getting really annoyed.

"I'll even help you." said Neji.

"So are you done Ino?" asked Shikamaru but decided not to add the word 'troublesome' because Ino will surely beat the crap out of him.

"Of course not, there's still one more."

"Then can you hurry it up? We're wasting precious time here!" said Naruto.

"I AM PRECIOUS!" yelled Ino.

"IN YOUR DREAMS!" yelled Sakura as well.

"C-can y-you please s-stop fighting?" asked Hinata, but sadly no one listened to her.

"Can we get on please?" begged Chouji.

"So is the last part of your testament for me? Huh? Huh? Huh?" asked Lee eagerly.

"Of course not!" said Ino, Lee frowned "Okay, to my dear darling Sasuke, I give to him not only my heart, but also my soul and all of me. I give him my eternal affection and devotion for I love him so."

Shikamaru was seemingly bothered "Is that it?"

"Yep," smiled Ino "With that last statement I finish my last will and testament. See Sakura, mine is obviously better than yours, Sasuke likes mine more!"

"Not a chance fatso!" laughed Sakura.

"Who're you calling fat you slut!"

"You whore!"

And the fight continued.

Suddenly Kakashi, Kurenai and Gai pop up and Gai went to comfort the crying Lee.

"Yet again, I end up with the useless stuff." said Sasuke.

"You're lucky you even get to be in the will."

"So you wanna trade places with Sasuke?" asked Kakashi.

Naruto stared at the bickering females "Nah."

"I'm not in the will again Gai Sensei!" yelled a crying Lee.

"Don't cry my dear Lee, I am here for you!" yelled a crying Gai.

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

And then the sunset and the drama and us getting sick of it.

"Why don't we have a rela-"

"Not gonna happen Kiba." Kurenai cut Kiba off before he finished.

Shikamaru sighed "This is getting really troublesome, I'm not liking it."

"Don't worry, you can have Ino." said Sasuke.

"What are you talking about?" asked Shikamaru.

"Come on, you're smart, don't play dumb with me."

"Okay fine." sighed Shikamaru.

"Plus, I never planned to own and enterprise and a chain of restaurants, definitely not a flower shop." said Sasuke "And I don't really plan to have that much children."

"Yeah, I agree." said Shikamaru.

"And I don't really plan to have someone as insane as the two of them (Sakura and Ino) to be my wife." said Sasuke.

"So now I get the insane one?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"Better you than me." said Sasuke grinning.

Shikamaru glared at him.

Finally everyone settled down.

"So who's next?" asked Naruto.

…

TO BE CONTINUED

So, how'd you like it? REVIEW Please! Constructive Criticisms are very much welcomed!


	6. Hinata's Generous Inheritance

Okay, here's the next chappie, sorry it took so long, I had endless days of no internet! Anyway, Thanks to all who reviewed I hope you would review again. And I hope that you would enjoy this chapter, I enjoyed writing... typing this!

_Last Wills and Testaments_

_Hinata's Generous Inheritance_

"So who's next?" asked Naruto.

"Me!" yelled Lee "I wanna go again!" he was happy after being comforted by Gai, who happens to have just left along with Kurenai and Kakashi.

"You already went thick-eyebrows!" yelled Naruto back.

"So? Can't I make another will?" asked Lee.

"No you can't." said Shikamaru simply.

"Why not?" asked Lee pitifully, nearing to tears.

"Because we said so!" said, well, everyone.

Lee wallowed in his tears in a corner not so far away. No one minded him.

"So who's next?" asked Naruto, again.

"I know!" said Kiba.

"You know something?" asked a 'seemingly' shocked Ino.

"Shut up! You don't know anything!"

"Well, I know that I know more than you." said Ino grinning.

"And yet you can't get yourself a boyfriend." grinned Sakura, which pissed Ino off "Don't worry Kiba, your IQs aren't that far from each other."

"Yeah, you got that right!" said Kiba "Wait, what's that supposed to mean?"

"So what's that idea of yours?" asked Chouji, before anyone gets into a bitchy fight and before Kiba joins the bitchy fight, which would be so gay.

Kiba regained his composure "Why not let Hinata go next?"

Hinata blushed "N-no, it's o-okay K-kiba, you can let Lee go again."

Lee smiled when he heard what Hinata had said and regained his energy.

"No!" said everyone, again "Go next Hinata!"

Lee once again drowned himself in sorrow in the corner, but nobody seemed to notice.

"So Hinata, do you want to choose a lawyer already?" asked Kiba, getting a really big grin, hoping to be Hinata's lawyer.

"Uhm, I-I d-don't think you r-really need a l-lawyer for these things." said Hinata, blushing.

"But I want to be your lawyer Hinata!" exclaimed Kiba, which frightened Hinata "Please! Make me your lawyer!"

"Don't harass her Kiba!" said Naruto.

'He's protecting me.' thought Hinata, blushing madly.

"She would never pick an idiot like you to be her lawyer!" said Naruto.

"Says the other idiot." sighed Shikamaru "If you really can't choose Hinata, pick Shino instead since he's your teammate."

Hinata nodded "Uhm, Sh-Shino can you b-be my l-lawyer?" she asked hesitantly. She wanted to ask Naruto but she thought that would be so obvious, if it wasn't already.

Shino nodded.

"Go ahead Hinata, you can start with me." Kiba gave a wide smile "So what are you going to give me good ol' teammate ol' pal!"

"Eew Kiba… eew…" said Ino "Don't talk like that, never again. You're so greedy."

"Look who's talking." mumbled Shikamaru.

"Did you say anything?" Ino shot Shikamaru a glare.

"No, nothing, nothing at all. That would be too troublesome." sighed Shikamaru.

"Can you guys quit it with the lawyer thing, it's not necessary." said Saskue, arms crossed as he was leaning on a tree.

"Yeah! Sasuke's right!" said Ino and Sakura at the same time, then glared at each other.

"But lawyers are cool!" said Naruto.

"I doubt you even know what a lawyer does." said Neji.

Naruto stared "They're uhm, you know, people... who do lawyer-y stuff."

"Wow!" said Tenten sarcastically.

"Yeah, they're people, who do the last will and testimonials of people."

"Testimony!" said Lee proudly before Sasuke could correct Naruto so he can feel superior.

"Testament." said Sasuke emotionless.

"Testament!" said Lee and Naruto at the same time.

"Well, whatever they do, it doesn't matter, it makes this game more interesting!" said Kiba.

"Whatever." said Neji.

"Okay Hinata, you should start." insisted Shino.

"Oh, o-okay. To my sister H-Hanabi and m-my cousin N-Neji," she said nervously "I will leave to t-them the H-Hyuga M-mansion."

"At last, somebody who can give out meaningful possessions!" exclaimed Tenten.

"I don't like sharing." said Neji flatly, this made Hinata nervous.

"That's okay Hinata, when you're gone you're not the one who'll have to deal with that problem." said Sakura, not that reassuringly.

Hinata fiddled with her fingers "To Shino and K-kiba, I leave t-to them, h-half of m-my inherited m-money… o-or what will be left of i-it."

Kiba punched the air "Yes! Alright!" Kiba danced what looked like his victory dance of some sort "I'm going to get some money! I'm going to get some money."

"Kiba, have you no shame?" asked Shino disbelievingly, the rest looked at Kiba disbelievingly "How I wish I could disinherit you as my teammate."

"I'd have wish the same thing for Naruto, and sometimes with Sakura as well." said Sasuke, Ino laughed "The same would go if Ino was my temmate." Sakura laughed harder.

"Hear, hear!" said Shikamaru "How I wish."

Ino hit Shikamaru.

"If that were only possible, Lee would have been long gone, so would Gai." said Neji, and once again, for the third time in this chapter, Lee sulked in the corner, yet no one cared to notice.

"How I wish I could be transferred to Shino's team." said Shikamaru, rubbing his head.

"You greedy little oaf!" Ino once again hit Shikamaru in the head.

"An oaf with an IQ of 200, how ironic is that?" said Chouji as he munched more chips from his endless supply of junk food.

Sakura nudged Hinata while the rest bickered. Hinata looked at Sakura.

"Hey, this is your chance to express to Naruto how you truly feel about him." said Sakura grinning.

"Huh?" Hinata blushed like mad "W-what do y-you m-mean b-by that?"

"Oh come on Hinata, everyone knows your crush on Naruto." then Sakura looked at Naruto "Well, except for him of course, he the densest person on earth. I have no idea how he even passed being a ninja."

Hinata fiddled with her fingers.

"Of course that doesn't matter." said Sakura nervously "What matters is you like him."

"B-but how d-do I do t-that?" asked Hinata, still blushing "I-I can't e-even talk t-to h-him properly."

"Easy, just say that you're giving him you're heart, you know, figuratively speaking." said Sakura.

Hinata quietly nodded.

"Okay Hinata, you may continue." Shino insisted.

"Uhm, o-okay." she stuttered as she spoke, nervous on how she was going to express how she truly felt, "To Naruto,"

"Alright!" cheered Naruto, all the more did Hinata blush, "I'm part of the will too Kiba, IN YOUR FACE! And look I'm solo, you have to share with Shino."

Kiba was getting ready to punch Naruto.

"Could you be any lower?" asked Sasuke silently "You have no ounce of shame left in you, do you?"

"Whatever!" said Naruto "I'm still part of the will! Go on Hinata, you may continue."

Hinata nodded shyly "I l-leave with y-you,"

"Go on Hinata, you can do it!" cheered Sakura silently.

"I l-leave with y-you," she blushed insanely.

"Yes?" asked Naruto.

Oh the suspense, they thought.

"I-leave-with-you-my-heart!" Hinata said oh-so fast and then fainted. She was so red and her nerves couldn't not take any more pressure and she fainted. Chouji and Lee brought her to the clinic.

"What did she say?" asked Naruto.

"She said she was leaving you her heart you dimwit." said Shino simply.

"Her heart?" Naruto repeated "But why would she leave me her heart?"

Most of them slapped their foreheads as Kakashi and Gai arrived once again.

"Go on Naruto, think." Kakashi insisted "Despite my better instinct telling me that your incompetent brain cannot even decipher what she meant by that simple line, I should trust you and have faith in you as your team leader to be able to realize what Hinata meant."

"Hmm," Naruto thought really hard "Don't tell me…"

"Go on." Kakashi insisted.

"She gave me her heart because,"

"Yes?" anxiety filled Sakura, maybe her teammate wasn't all that dense.

"It's because…"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, he too thought maybe Naruto would have some hope left… some.

"I have a heart disease!"

Everyone stared blankly at Naruto.

"Heart disease?" Shikamaru questioned.

"Yeah, she's giving me her heart because I need a heart transplant!" Naruto exclaimed "NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You've got to be kidding me!" said Neji incredulously.

"Nope, there's Naruto for you." said Sasuke, realizing that there was no hope at all.

"My better instincts were indeed… better. Naruto's just…" Kakashi began.

"Stupid?" said Sakura.

"Hopeless?" said Sasuke.

"Dense?" said Shino.

"A moron?" said Neji.

"Utterly incompetent." said Shikamaru.

"All of those and so many more." said Kakashi as he sighed.

"NOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Naruto screamed and ran around "I'm gonna die!!!!!!"

END OF CHAPTER

I hope you guys enjoyed, I have the next chapter ready so keep those reviews coming :D! Thanks to all who reviewed my previous chapter, love you all for reviewing! And for those who added me in their list of alerts and favorite, I appreciate it, and please leave some reviews as well ü


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